It Was Nice Meeting You Again for the First Time
by Lanx Borealis
Summary: All of them are wrong, none of them are right. Why can't he just find another Pine Tree? BillDip.


**Disclaimer: I do not own GF**

 **This is an older drabble I did that comes from my BillDip Drabble Collection. It grew really popular there both on here and AO3 and I thought it was about time to kinda edit it a little and post it as it's own one-shot**

 **Anyways, enjoy!**

~~0~~0~~0~~

" _I love you."_

" _I love you too."_

Bill gritted his teeth and crossed his arms tightly over his chest, battling the bittersweet memories away. _That was forever ago._ He told himself.

Even so, the pain was still there and _damn_ did it hurt.

Bill hunched his shoulders up slightly, trying to hide his face in the collar of his shirt as he stared across the street, watching an almost familiar figure pass by.

He stood tall and proud, head up high and oddly colored blue eyes stoic and clear. His hair was gelled back and there was a certain slick cleanliness to him that made Bill wrinkle his nose up, if only a little.

No. No, this one wouldn't do at all.

This Pine tr- Dipper- was like all the others, was all wrong in every way, shape, and form.

Bill closed his eyes angrily, unable to hold back the sickening memories. Of him being too late. Of him watching his Pine Tree get cut down. Him watching his Pine Tree fall and crash to the ground. Him frozen, unable to move. Unable to believe what was happening right before his eyes. Well, eye. Him splattered in his lover's blood as he tried his damnedest to _get him back because you are way too important to die like this and leave me you are too young and too-_

Bill shuddered. Even now, he could feel _his_ Dipper's blood on his hands as he tried to cover the hole in his stomach. Even now, his ears still rang with those last, soft sweet words he was told. Even now, his non-existent heart burned with an ache that couldn't be quenched. One of anger and lost and hurt and every other emotion that Bill just couldn't put a name to.

It was maddening.

Gritting his teeth together, the demon ignored the Dipper across the street. The Dipper who was like _his_ Pine Tree in so many ways, but completely and totally opposite.

This Dipper, who like all the others, was wrong.

Ducking into the nearby alley, Bill sucked in a shuddering breath.

He wasn't entirely sure how many universes he's hopped through- how many dimensions he's slipped in and out of. At this point, only his Pine Tree stood out from all the other _wrong_ ones.

 _But of course they are wrong. All wrong, wrong, wrong! There is no_ Pine Tree _like mine out there…_

Still. He had to keep trying. Keep _looking_ because out there, there had to be another.

Another Pine Tree for him, whose destiny wouldn't be snipped by the scissors of fate so soon, who would laugh and learn and be curious and cuddle and kiss and...and…

Bill clenched his fists as blue flames started to crackle over his skin as he slipped through the Mindscape to find another universe- a universe that would house the right Pine Tree.

A Pine Tree whose eyes would light up at the sight of him, soft and warm mocha.

A Pine Tree who would grin widely at his presence while opening his arms in welcome.

A Pine Tree who would whisper words of adoration into his ear.

Another Pine Tree.

Another lover.

Bill let the flames consume and take him, slipping between the cracks of space-time and walking down a road of void unseen, falling and falling and falling forever before clawing his way back up to a new place, new time, similar setting to look for the same face he was searching for.

Always searching for.

~~0~~0~~0~~

Bill slipped into his human form easily enough once his mind and will met reality, slipping out of the Mindscape and falling onto his own two feet, his dress shoes thumping into the grassy ground.

He staggered a bit, as he always did. Bodies were such funny things…

" _Bill! You're tripping all over the place!"_

" _Not my fault your meat sacks are weird!"_

" _Oh my god, Bill!"_

Bill easily caught himself. Reaching up and making sure his signature top hat was still in place on his head, the demon glanced around the glittering forest, taking in the sweet earthy scent that rose from the ground. Long grass grew in clumps all around, still shining and slick from morning dew. Pine trees towards far above him, reaching for the sky in their never-ending quest to grow and grow and grow, able to take root in a place.

Bill let a bitter laugh escape his lips.

Pine trees always took root and grew. Trying to reach heavens that they'd never touch.

Growing and growing and growing…

Until they were chopped down.

Bill leaned against a nearby trunk, pinching the bridge of his nose, already hating this universe just a bit.

Because as much as he hated being in a pine forest, it also meant he was on the right track. He was in his true lover's element, a place he always went. A place he lived in, breathed in, and died in.

A place his Dipper truly enjoyed.

Bile rose to Bill's throat and more disgusted, bitter laughter slipped between his lips, a tad louder than before.

A place that he truly hated.

And loved.

And was wounded by.

And cherished.

So many emotions were running through his non-existent heart and soul, so many things he shouldn't be feeling but _was_ and it was wrong in the exactly same way it was right…

Bill shook his head and pushed himself off from the tree. He had to rein himself in. Bring focus back to his addled mind. Collect the shards that were his emotions and continue moving and searching until he found the person who could glue him back together.

Another Dipper...another Pine Tree was around here somewhere. Bill could sense him like he could in every universe, his magic and being slightly off and different as always, but still true in a way.

The last Dipper had tasted slick in the vilest of ways. Like vomit. He was...corrupted.

This Dipper, whose taste was faint but still there, was one of nature itself. Leaves and grass and flowers...Chlorophyll.

Strange, and not exactly appealing, but behind that it was Dipper nonetheless and Bill was determined for this Dipper to be the one he was looking for, the Dipper that would put him back together again and make him whole.

Who'd cuddle…

" _You sure are warm, Pine Tree."_

Who'd kiss…

" _Bill! Not in front of my family-!"_

Who'd explore…

" _I don't care if you already know! I'm showing you anyway."_

And who'd love…

" _Bill...I...god this is so hard to say..."_

Bill slowed his steps down, putting every foot carefully in front of the other as to not disturb the grass and make noise. Dipper's magic and being was pulsating out, his taste so strong and familiar but different it sent a pang through his core, one so full of hope and fear and anxiousness that he could barely contain himself to not just run forward and tackle the other, who was now surely right behind those bushes in front of him.

Blinking his one eye hard, Bill reached up with his gloved hands, slowly moving twigs and leaves out of his way so he could get a clear sight of this universe's Dipper that was on the other side.

His hands shook ever so slightly.

His mouth went completely dry.

His gut tightened.

His heart clenched.

His mind went blank.

Bill peeked through the vegetation.

A sleek brown coat was what drew Bill's eye in. The fur was brushed back and gleamed with cleanliness. Even though the creature was laying down, evident in the way its legs were bent, Bill could see the powerful muscle of the flanks and the gentle curve of the spine. Eyes moving up the creature's body, Bill was only half surprised to see a human torso connected to the deer body. Covered by an all too familiar blue vest, Bill's heart fell at the sight as his vision continued upwards, landing right on the back of the creature's furry head. His hair was dark and curly and Bill had to shoo away the memory of him running his fingers through a different, but familiar head of curly hair, admiring the softness and giggles it rose from the other.

Bill shook his head slowly, now eyeing the large ears that would flick around every once and a while and the large horns decorating the top of his head.

Pine T- No. _Dipper_ was a cervitaur. Half deer, half boy and currently, his head was bent down low, soft whispers falling from his mouth as well as

the occasional bleat as he read. Most likely from a journal or book, knowing the kid...

Bill partially wanted to know what happened- if he had always been like this in this universe or if something had happened to make this a reality- after all, the air buzzed with unusually high amounts of magic, something that Bill couldn't tell was normal or not.

Internally sighing, Bill let the leaves and twigs fall silently back into place as he stepped back, feeling his entire being sink in disappointment.

He had lost count on how many universe he had traveled through, how long it's been since _his_ Dipper's demise, and Bill wasn't so sure what to think. A part of him, a _huge_ part of him, wanted to keep going, keep looking and searching and hoping to find another Pine Tree just like his own.

However, there was a small part of him, a tinny voice and spirit located in the abhorrent recesses of his mind and non-existent heart that just wanted to…

To stop.

To give up.

Call it quits.

Stumbling away from the underbrush, Bill turned around and bolted, arms pumping at his sides as he ran far, far away. Away from the cervitaur, away from his doubts, away from _anything_ and _everything._

He wanted to go back. God, he wanted to go back to a simpler time when the most he had to worry about was overprotective Grunkle's and a nosy sister and feeding Dipper's never-ending curiosity and hunger for knowledge.

In that moment, Bill was ready to give up anything and everything to turn back the clock, give his nearly infinite knowledge and magical power and _hell,_ his demon-hood itself just to be back to the boy with eyes hungry for knowledge, who'd chew on his pens when deep in thought, who kissed him oh so gently and oh so sweetly under the stars…

But he couldn't go back.

He could never go back.

And the thought broke him, completely shattering him into little shards.

Anguish and dismay filled him and fueled his cobalt flames, letting them sting as they worked their way up his body, bleeding the world dry of color oh so briefly before snapping him forward into a new place and new time…

...But not renewed hope.

~~0~~0~~0~~

Bill sighed as hung his head.

Though he had been to a number of places through his trek across universe's to find another Dipper to have, he usually ended up in Gravity Falls, or a place similar of the sort, full of magic and creatures and the things that went _bump_ in the night.

Here however, in the sticky California air, no real or clear magic pulsed. The air was heavy and static and spoke of a dullness that Bill would rather soon let pass.

And at this point, Bill was ready to let this, and any other universe, pass onto oblivion.

Lowering himself onto a nearby swing, Bill scuffed the ground with his shoes as he stared out at the empty playground and evening sky, looking but not seeing what was right in front of him.

What hope did he have to find another Dipper whatsoever? After all, no two universe's were the same, which meant no two Dipper's were the same, which meant that _his_ Dipper- _his_ Pine Tree, was lost forever in the endless void that was death.

Gone.

Forever.

Bill balanced his elbows on his knees as he put his head in his hands, willing away the tears. Without warrant, memories resurfaced, eating him up and spitting him out and sending ice through his veins.

" _Bill! Don't do that! How many times do I have to tell you that soda_ does not _go into your eyes!"_

All he had now were memories.

" _You're really warm, you know that? It's official- you're no longer a big scary demon, but a huggable and cuddly teddy bear..."_

Memories that haunted him day in and day out, never leaving him alone and never giving him peace.

" _You smell so nice, Pine Tree~"_

And they ate at him because no matter what, they always reminded him of who wasn't there with him.

" _You're a real asshole, you know that?"_

" _But you love me anyways!"_

And the worst part about it all was that new memories couldn't be made, new conversations, new dreams, new _anything._

It was all in the past.

And memories were just a reminder of a future that could never be.

Bill bit his lip, shoulders trembling slightly as depression sunk into him.

What was he even doing? He knew this quest- this search would be futile. He knew he was never getting Dipper back. So why was he even kidding himself? Why did he want to hold on this illogical hope _so bad?_

Why why why why-

"He-hey mister? Are you alright?"

Bill flinched at the voice, nearly falling out of the swing as he straightened up and stared at the boy in front of him.

He couldn't have been older than seven or so, his face soft and youthful with large, liquid brown eyes that shined with every feeling and emotion the boy had. His hair was a dark, curly mess and underneath it, Bill could see the hint of a familiar birthmark, a birthmark he used to pepper with kisses as he traced his lips on it while his arms slowly circled a smaller, warm body…

How could he have missed the kid's presence? Here he was, his taste so pure and innocent, so sweet it nearly sickened him.

Bill held back his tears.

"I'm fine." Bill grumbled out, turning his head away from this universe's Pine Tree.

Though Bill was sure the kid was going to run off- after all, it was getting late, they were all alone at this park, and because of stranger danger, it surprised him greatly when he instead sat in the swing next to him, feet kicking out as they kicked a few wood chips into the air.

"You look really sad. Like you're about to cry." He said slowly, watching his own feet. "Why do grown-ups always say they're fine when they're not?" He added on a few beats later, more to himself than Bill.

Bill sighed. "Because people don't like listening to other's problems and nor do they like sharing them."

"So you have problems?"

Bill almost grinned at the kid, pleasantly surprised by the wit shown. Instead, however, he bent down and scooped up a handful of woodchips, slowly tossing them across the playground.

"Everyone has problems, kid."

 _Plink._ One of his wood chips hit the side of a metal slide.

"Is it why you're sad?"

Bill sighed and answered before even really thinking it through.

"Yeah."

The kid turned and peeked up and the strangely dressed sad man. "Why are you sad?" He asked, voice nothing but honest curiosity with a true need to help in any way possible.

Bill's heart lurched at the kid's sincerity.

It was a while before he answered, too caught up on the words trapped on his tongue and the methodical action of tossing wood chips across the playground.

His hand was nearly empty before he replied.

"I- I lost someone very dear to me."

The kid's eyes widened as he stared up at the strange man.

Though he hadn't said it outright, the brunet knew what sort of lost the man was talking about and it tugged on his heartstrings.

"I'm sorry." He murmured softly, wishing there was something else he could say.

Bill continued as if he hadn't heard the apology. "I lost them...and now I'm trying to find someone...someone like them. But I can't." Bill emptied his hand and hung his head, biting the inside of his cheek hard enough to draw blood. "I can't..."

The brunet sighed softly and stayed quiet, thinking hard about what to say.

"Then don't look for someone like them."

Bill's head snapped up and he stared hard at the kid next to him.

The boy wriggled a bit under the hard gaze, but pressed on. "All people are different, so instead of looking for someone like them, you should find someone else you just like. My mommy always says you can't compare everyone to everyone because everyone is different...or something like that."

Bill stiffened at the words.

But who else did he like besides his Pine Tree? Was there anyone else to like in that sense? Could he... _love_ anyone else as much as he loved his Pine Tree? His big Dipper?

"It's not that easy." Bill muttered in response.

The brunet sighed. "Well, nothing is all that easy. That's why you have to work really hard. My mommy works really hard all the time and she says without hard work, you can't be succ- um, susses- er..."

"Successful?"

He nodded quickly. "Yeah. That."

"Your mom sounds like a smart woman."

The child beamed up at Bill. "She really is! She always tells me things to make me feel happy when I'm sad and she packs my favorite lunch every day and she likes playing board games with me and my sister!"

Bill chuckled at the child's enthusiasm.

When was the last time he laughed? When he genuinely smiled?

He couldn't recall.

"Well then, I'm glad you have her."

The boy sighed. "Yeah..." His eyes fell downcast ever so slightly.

"Anything wrong?"

He jumped. "Well, um, I..."

Bill cocked an eyebrow and waited for him to say something.

The brunet shook his head. "Well, I did get mad at my sister today. She was being mean to me again and not sharing like she was supposed to and...well, I came out here to try and stop being angry I guess."

Bill nodded sagely. "I see." He said, unsure on whether or not he should try to give the younger any advice. "Are you still angry."

"No. Not really. Are you still sad?"

Bill looked down at the innocent face of the child, the child who in a different world stole his heart…

A child who told him, in his own way and words, to let go.

" _Let's go, Bill!"_

" _Right behind you, Pine Tree!"_

Letting go…

"I...not really. Not so much anymore."

The boy beamed up at him. "That's good! Being sad is bad. It makes you feel all icky inside."

Bill nodded along to his words. "And sometimes you can't get rid of all the...ickiness inside of you."

The child frowned. "But you can try?" He said, sounding unsure in his words.

Bill felt a small, warm smile work its way onto his face.

"Yes. I can try."

The boy nodded and looked up at the sky. "Well...I better go home now. I'm not supposed to be out this late, even if I'm just at the park." He hopped off his swing and took a few steps away. "Um, I guess I'll see you later."

Bill stared at the child, his mind and heart still tumbling around in his chest.

"Maybe." He finally answered.

The boy smiled and gave him a nod before turning and running off into the darkened streets though not before shouting something back at him.

"By the way! The name's Dipper! Dipper Pines! It was nice meeting you!"

Bill smiled softly.

"Thank you, Dipper. It was nice meeting you too." Bill called back, unsure if the child heard him as he disappeared.

Alone now, Bill stared down at his hands, which were already flickering with a cold blue flame. Around him, colors slowly desaturated as Bill felt reality start to slip away once again.

Then, the demon looked up.

His favorite constellation- the one that was always set in the sky right above him, the one that always glittered down at him, the one that he had always traced oh so gently with his lips, was now staring down at him once again.

This time, Bill traced its shape out with his dry eyes, his gentle smile still on his face.

Not even glancing down, Bill closed his hands into fists, snuffing the fire out and allowing color to bleed slowly back into this world as reality came back to him, honest and true.

Standing up, Bill gave the street Dipper ran down one last look before turning and meandering away into the darkness.

" _I love you, Bill. Don't forget that. I'll love you now to the end of time, I promise."_

~~0~~0~~0~~


End file.
